How I Easily Overcame Fear Of Public Speaking
Since it is often reported that the #1 fear that the majority of people have is the fear of public speaking (also known as stage fright), it seems to me that this is a most important issue that MUST be managed asap.
There are two primary reasons why stage fright needs to be eliminated when it comes to speaking in public:
- It stops funny and talented people from pursuing opportunities that involve speaking publicly to an audience.
- It keeps funny and talented people from realizing their true potential when they speak publicly to audiences.
The bottom line is this:
I recognized this right away and to make a long story short…
I was able to easily get rid of my fear of public speaking (stage fright) permanently in less than 30 days and that’s NOT an exaggeration.
When I say it was easy, here’s what I mean by that:
To get rid of stage fright, I repetitiously listened to a series of specific statements that I recorded while driving to and from work in my car.
Again, that’s not an exaggeration. So in this lesson, I am going to provide you with specific details about what I did, how I did it and why it worked to help me to get rid of stage fright for good which includes these aspects and more:
- Familiarize you with how someone develops stage fright to begin with.
- Explain to you EXACTLY how I EASILY got rid of stage fright in 30 days (less actually).
- Provide you with free resources that you can start using TODAY to get rid of stage fright for good like I did.
- Provide you with the means to enhance your success as a comedian or public speaker while you are overcoming stage fright issues.
- Identify what overcoming stage stage fright WON’T do for you when you stand before audiences.
With that said, let’s get started.
Why Does Stage Fright Happen
One of the keys to eliminating stage fright lies in understanding how someone gets stage fright in the first place.
Before I introduce you to a video by Dr. Brue Lipton, let’s establish now how you DID NOT develop stage fright:
You were NOT born with a fear of public speaking. Just think about young children that you have seen who dance and sing in front of family members (and people that they don’t know) who are gathered together.
You were NOT exposed to some sort of contagion that has a side effect of causing stage fright. While getting stage fright is not manifested like the common cold…
People that you have come in contact during the course of your life with may have had some important influence in the stage fright that you have without your direct knowledge.
You did NOT take a course or receive any formal instruction on how to experience stage fright. However, you are are going to discover very quickly that you actually covertly learned to have the stage fright that you experience.
If you DO NOT overcome stage fright, each time you stand before an audience (or think about standing before an audience) you will tend to reinforce whatever stage fright tendencies that you experience.
In other words, simply getting more time in front of audiences doesn’t necessarily help rid someone of stage fright and can actually cause the condition to persist.
Stage fright DOES NOT just spontaneously just “appear” from thin air — it is the result of powerful influences that you have been exposed to during the course of your life.
If you can truly understand the information provided in this 6 minute video, then you are well on your way to understanding how stage fright manifests itself in the first place:
Using the information provided in the video, here’s what I believe is vitally important for you to know:
People are actually “programmed” to have stage fright whether they realize it or not.
The “programming” that I am referring to is the result of expose to subtle, usually covert yet powerful influences which “writes the track for stage fright” onto a person’s subconscious mind and includes but is not limited to:
- Interactions with others and what they have said or expressed about speaking in front of others
- TV programming
- Books, magazines, articles or other print media
- Online information resources
- Video game scenarios
- Music, specifically songs about anxiety or having difficulty “saying the words”
While the video focuses on the impact of subconscious “programming” for the first 7 years of life, I very strongly contend that “subconscious influencing” that is the foundation for having stage fright is a continuous affair that certainly occurs long after the age of 7 and continually reinforces these issues until they are permanently overcome.
Reflecting back on my own extreme issues with stage fright before I got rid of it for good, I can say with great certainty that I cannot directly pinpoint or identify a single direct or overt cause for having stage fright at all.
But I had been exposed to all of the “subconscious influencing” that everyone else has been exposed to during the course of their life.
Just look at the very first sentence in this lesson. Simply stating that fear of public speaking is commonly the #1 fear that a person can experience — even more fearful than the prospect of death — is common in virtually every type of media a person can be exposed to.
I contend that this sort of statement helps both establish and reinforce the notion that it is “common” for a person to not only have stage fright but that it is the most fearful thing that most people experience.
Note: If you check out Season 3, Episode 7 (Ta Da For) of the TV show Royal Pains, you can literally visualize just one very good example of the type covert subconscious influencing about having fear of public speaking that happens from television programming.
Here are the important points that I want to make before moving on to the next section:
Your subconscious mind is far more powerful than your conscious mind. And just so that you know…
This information is not new — it has been around for decades. What Dr. Lipton has to say about it is merely the latest rendition of this information based on more recent studies.
How do I know this? It’s because the related resources and methods that I used to get rid of stage fright using methods to “reprogram” or otherwise positively influence the subconscious mind were published in the early 1980’s by another doctor Shad Helmstetter.
Stage fright is the direct result of what has been programmed into your subconscious mind whether you are aware of it or not. And at this point it really does not matter how that programming happened.
The important thing to realize is that it DID happen and that in order to get rid of it, you need to alter or replace that programming.
In other words, you need to influence your subconscious mind to generate a far different result than stage fright when standing before an audience or thinking about standing before an audience.
The video addressed the two methods to “reprogram” the subconscious mind — hypnosis and repetition.
Let’s talk about these two critical aspects in realistic terms so that we are both on the same page as we move forward…
About Hypnosis
As a general rule, most people have a highly skewed and inaccurate view of what hypnosis is or is not — usually based on what is presented by TV along with other media and information resources.
Here are some real world facts about hypnosis:
Is hypnosis real? Yes it is real. It is real enough that books or information about hypnosis are banned from the prison system.
Does hypnosis work? The answer is yes and no, depending upon the individual and the type of hypnosis involved.
The information that I am about to share with you regarding hypnosis was discovered after I had already got rid of stage fright using the repetition method that I will reveal shortly.
Hypnosis is nothing more than directly influencing a person’s subconscious mind while usually in a relaxed state (referred to as the theta state in the video).
But please note — direct hypnosis (hypnosis initiated by another person) does not work the same on all people. As a matter of fact:
- About 25% of people are highly susceptible to direct hypnosis.
- About 50% of people are moderately susceptible to direct hypnosis in varying degrees.
- About 25% of people are not susceptible to direct hypnosis at all.
I learned about this from working with several stage hypnotists when I was performing as a comedian.
If you have ever been to a stage hypnotist show, you will note that the very first thing the stage hypnotist does is to bring 12-15 people from the audience to the stage,
After that, it’s a process of identifying the audience members who are NOT highly susceptible to hypnotic suggestion and sending them back to their seats.
Ultimately, the stage hypnotist ends up with 3-5 audience members on stage who are highly susceptible to hypnotic suggestion and will comply to his or her suggestions.
It was this after-the-fact information that made me realize why my sessions with a licensed hypnotherapist to get rid of stage fright didn’t even make a dent in the problem because…
The issue was that I was in the group of the 25% who is not susceptible to direct hypnotic intervention by another person.
Note: Being in this group does not mean that the subconscious programming cannot be changed because it can — that’s how I got rid of my own stage fright issues.
What it does mean is that I have personally have difficulty getting to the theta state needed for a hypnosis process initiated by someone else.
Keep this in mind…
You experience the theta state of consciousness everyday — as stated in the video it’s the drowsy state right before you go to sleep and right after you wake up until you are fully awake.
And it is this theta state that is the most direct path to influence your subconscious.
You will be able to use this information to your advantage to help rid yourself of stage fright (and other issues you may want to address) if you choose to as this lesson moves along — regardless of what direct hypnosis group you fall into.
Now let’s talk about repetition, which the means by which I got rid of my own stage fright issues as well as establishing some important success related programming as well…
The Power Of Repetition
I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have either personally experienced or have seen first hand the power of repetition as it relates to a person’s abilities.
Unfortunately, it most likely has been from a negative context. Here’s what I mean by that — have you ever heard anyone (including yourself) say anything like this:
- I’m really bad with math.
- I can’t remember names.
- I’m not any good at [fill in the blank here].
Each time a person does that, they are reinforcing the programming of that particular condition or situation into the subconscious mind.
The subconscious mind, being far more powerful than the conscious mind then continues on autopilot to make that reinforced condition a reality — one that seems to be inevitable and “unresolvable”.
Let’s take a closer look at the situation where someone says they are really bad with math.
The reason people are bad with math is because they weren’t taught it in a way that helped them to understand what it was they were doing when they attempted to solve math problems.
Subsequently, when they attempted to solve difficult math problems in school, they didn’t get it right. This is the beginning of the “I’m bad with math” reinforcement self-talk.
Continued difficulty with math problems continue to shore up the condition subconsciously and increases the “I’m bad with math” mantra. Subsequently…
The person’s subconscious mind makes sure that the person who says they are bad with math continues to be bad with math at every opportunity.
As you can see, it is a vicious cycle that self-perpetuates a person being bad with math, no matter what they do or how hard they work to resolve the issue.
So just as a recap:
- An individual receives a math education that DOES NOT work to help them understand or effectively solve math problems.
- That individual starts doubting their skill at math and begins the “I’m bad at math” self talk reinforcement of this condition.
- The individual persists at being bad with math and reinforcing that situation.
It is this exact same process that helps establish and sustain stage fright, making it seem like an unsurmountable condition to overcome.
Well it will be this exact same process, along with taking advantage of the theta state that you experience everyday that will be key in helping you overcome stage fright.
Now let me tell how I got rid of stage fright for good.
My Story
I was at a point early in my adventures to become a comedian where I had two choices:
Be limited by stage fright or get rid of it.
The reason I say this is simple:
Unless you are 100% comfortable standing in front of any audience just like you are comfortable talking to a group of friends in your living room, you simply cannot express your comedy talent completely or effectively.
I knew this and I also knew I had to do something to fix this issue if I wanted to make any real headway quickly as a comedian.
I started with breathing and visualization exercises, followed by sessions with a licensed hypnotherapist.
Nothing worked and I was not hopeful that I would be able to overcome stage fright.
Then I happened across a book by Shad Helmstetter called “What To Say When You Talk To Yourself” (#ad).
The one displayed here is an updated version from the one that I used to completely get rid of my stage fright for good.
Here’s what happened in a nutshell:
I was at a point where nothing that I had previously tried worked to give me any relief from stage fright at all.
Helmstetter’s book echoed much of the information that Dr, Lipton covered in the video that you reviewed at the beginning of this lesson — the power of the subconscious mind, the influence of repetition, etc.
But there was something in the book that really drew me to try the process that was explained in the book which was this:
I didn’t even have to believe the process that Helmstetter described would work in order for it to work. I simply had to do (or be exposed to) the repetition needed to replace the programming my subconscious mind was using to give me stage fright.
So, using the process described in the book (which is not specifically focused on stage fright but for any type of subconscious programming that one may want to change)…
I created a series of specific statements to not only overcome stage fright, but to positively affect other aspects of my stand-up comedy exploits that were influenced by less-than-optimal subconscious programming that I had.
I recorded those statements, then copied that initial recording over and over again onto both sides of a 90 minute cassette tape (yes folks, I am now officially in the “old fart” category)..
I then listened to that recording every time that drove my car to and from work (it was about 22-25 minutes one way depending on traffic).
After the first couple of days of doing this, I actually started to consciously ignore what was being said on the tape.
In less than 30 days my stage fright had completely evaporated for good.
It literally just went away and it was all from just listening to a recording of statements that I had crafted using the guidelines in the book.
This illustrates the power of properly directed repetition to change existing subconscious programming from that which is obstructive to that which is beneficial.
And just so that I am perfectly clear:
When I decided to craft and record the statements that I made using the guidelines provided by the book, I had no conscious belief that this process would work at all — especially given that everything else that I had tried before DIDN’T WORK.
But I was at a point where I had nothing to lose and the process was so easily to implement and mindless in its execution it was worth a try.
Now before I get to providing you with some statements that you can use to overcome stage fright, I need to address some limitations and misperceptions regarding this process of “reprogramming” your subconscious mind to obtain the results that you desire.
Limitations
It should be obvious that using a repetitive self talk process affects behaviors, not physical attributes. In other words, it will not result in someone becoming taller for example.
The same can be said of comedy talent in that a person cannot use a repetitive self talk process to develop comedy talent that they do not have. It doesn’t work that way.
Note: As I have said before, most people have more than enough comedy talent. The issues tend to be that this comedy talent doesn’t make it to audiences because of “programming” that keeps them from using that comedy talent effectively.
A repetitive self talk routine won’t make unfunny comedy material funny either.
But it can eliminate roadblocks to coming up with comedy material that actually works to get the laughs that you want.
The point that I want to make in this section before I move forward is this:
Entertaining an audience — whether as a comedian or a public speaker — involves a number of factors that work together in synchronicity to produce the desired result.
Overcoming stage fright (along with other issues) is a major factor in success when standing in front of any audience. But it is NOT the only factor that comes into play when it comes to generating audience laughter on demand.
I should also make it clear as to where I was at in my stand-up comedy adventures at the time. In the two months prior to starting my own repetitious twice a day self talk self talk regime:
- I came to realize that what I did in the classroom to cause people to laugh was stand-up comedy.
- I also realized that I didn’t have to “write jokes”, learn joke formulas, become some sort of “character”, develop a “hook” or any of that other nonsense that doesn’t work to develop a stand-up routine.
- I developed a methodology to capture what I did in the classroom and structure it for a stand-up comedy routine — which is the system that you are reviewing now.
So for me, getting rid of stage fright was the LAST issue that I needed to resolve once I was able to let go of the “conventional” approach to sucking at stand-up comedy.
So, why am I telling you this now? I am telling you this now because I want you to be very clear about what a repetitious self talk regime can do for you and what it won’t do for you.
Let me end this section with something that you can actually visualize for yourself…
If you go to ANY comedy open mic night ANYWHERE in the world, you will see performers who have been doing the open mic scene for months or even years.
They aren’t funny and they don’t get any laughs. But they don’t have any stage fright either — they have come to accept that not much is going to happen to be afraid of as far getting on stage goes including audience laughter.
So now, they are simply in the “routine” of waiting for audiences to somehow “discover” that they are funny or for their unfunny material to somehow “ripen” into funny stand-up material (which is not going to happen).
So not having stage fright won’t provide the laughter results that these folks actually want and need to move forward.
Nope, they are terminally stuck on the “Write jokes. Use notes. Embrace the suck as long as possible” path that most of the other comedians follow until they realize that they can’t do what is needed to get ahead.
Now let’s talk about the most common misperception surrounding self talk designed for subconscious reprogramming.
One of the common responses that I get when I talk about this with people personally about this goes something like this:
“Oh, you are talking about positive affirmations. I tried that and it didn’t work.”
There are two very distinct reasons why positive affirmations don’t provide much in the way of relief from subconscious programming issues:
- Positive affirmations may or may not be structured in a way to actually replace the existing subconscious programming that a person has that is holding them back.
- Positive affirmations usually aren’t repeated for full 15-20 minutes twice a day.
The self talk that I am referring to involves listening to a recording of statements that are specific to replacing existing subconscious programming for 15-20 minutes per day, twice a day until the issue is resolved.
For me it was less than 30 days.
About The Self Talk Materials Provided
Below you will find a link to a page that contains two sets of self talk scripts — one for stand-up comedy and one for public speaking — along with recorded audio files of those scripts (generic male and female voices).
These scripts are based on the ones that I personally used but they have been enhanced to accentuate a “move towards” as opposed to a “move away from” approach as recommended by a friend of mine Michael Peak who is an NLP expert.
Note: The exact self talk script that I recorded and used is provided in Chapter 9 of the Interactive Performing Guide.
The page with the scripts has been set up to allow copy functionality in the event you wish to edit or add any statements that you will want to record yourself.
There is not much to the process once you have a finished self talk recording. You simply listen to it twice a day for 15-20 minutes for as long as it takes for your subconscious programming to be replaced.
I did this in my car going to and from work and anytime I was driving by myself on weekend days. That’s literally all I did to get rid of stage fright for good.
Again, after the first couple of days, I didn’t really actively hear the statements that I had recorded — my conscious mind just ignored them.
Now, had I known about the theta state…
As mentioned in the video by Dr. Lipton, the theta state right as you start to fall asleep and right after you wake up provides a direct window into the subconscious mind.
Well, it only takes a bit of inexpensive technology — specifically Bluetooth Sleep Headphones in order to easily take advantage of the theta state.
[bt headset]
Note: I got a set of these for my wife as she likes to fall asleep listening to the TV. They are comfortable, work great and are idea for self talk repetition.
Here’s the link to the scripts and the audios:
One last thing before I wrap this lesson up…
You will notice in the self talk scripts provided that I addressed other issues associated with my stand-up comedy adventures in addition to stage fright.
And I have to say that those statements served me well too.
Final Thoughts
One of the questions that folks might have about this self talk process is this:
“What happens if I don’t believe it work?”
And my response would be this:
“What did you believe to develop stage fright in the first place?”
I submit to you that neither you or anyone else for that matter had any sort of “belief” that they would get or ultimately suffer from stage fright.
In other words, there was no “believing” involved to get it, nor does there need to be any “believing” involved to get rid of it.
But self talk repetition will only work based on exposure to that repetition.
So if you are not truly motivated to get rid of it, then you won’t be eager to push the play button on a recording that could literally change your life.
For me, listening to self talk recordings has probably been the closest thing to a “magic pill” that I have experienced to take care of an issue.
But it still took time and it still required action on my part twice a day.
One last thing…
I was blown away when my stage fright was gone — so much so that I continued to listen to my self talk recording for a year just in case it might wear off.
It didn’t wear off, nor did I really need to do that once the programming was replaced. My performances were enough to reinforce that the stage fright was completely gone.